with this,
i've change my blog song t my mum's fav hokkien song.

tonight both sis and i
would have sleepless nights
crying our hearts out
all because we miss our mum.
it all results in the decision we make.
for choosing t stay with dad instead of uncle.
uncle said he's not gonna care about us;
since we make such decisions.
and it all goes back t mum
whereby because mum left us.
its gonna be nearly 49day soon.
tears cant stop flowing for me
even though my eye are red & swollen.
as for sister,
she just cry secretly while she was on bed.
i pretended i don't know
just t give her some space.
there's this knot in me;
deep down inside my heart.
a guilt maybe
or a regret.
i don't know how t solve it.
but i wonder if i need professional help yet.
i tried talking things out with close one.
but then yet it still couldn't help much.
i miss mummy.
missing her badly;
shouting for 'Mummyyy' at home for her t reply me.
but all these wouldn't happen anymore.
i wished i had more time t treasure her.
if only time could turn back for me,
in my dreams maybe it would.
we will only treasure things when we lost it.
i truely understand this now.

im just in a depressed mood now.
things that have happen lately,
bestfriend;
decisions;
studies;
myself;
uncle;
all i could say is
UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED
esp with myself.
from the start i was alr,
nothing changes even though one month plus passed.