yesterday i just went offline like that while talking to bestie and rong. sorry. at that point in time my head hurts to the point whereby i wanna bang it against the wall. and i needed sleep badly too. so my only alternative was to take sleeping pills. Sorry to have made you guys worry.

supposed to be taking half of it, in the end i took five and the half over the sleeping pills but yeah, nothing happen to me. it just gave me good night sleep with a weird dream lahs. after waking up, i still have the headaches with me and its just seems like the world is still spinning and im walking as though i am drunk. but i miss being really drunk.

met bestie to clear up yesterday stuff with her and to wait till she cool down. but when i met her, her face shows tiredness. so she fall asleep at mac. while she was sleeping, i wrote her a super long letter and tell her show i feels and even understand whatever she said yestersay. everything written on the piece of paper is really from the bottom of my heart and that it should be kept private and confidential. though there isnt a reply or any reaction from bestie but guess she already replied regarding that thing. thanks bestie. its all hard on you.

now. my head hurts and i still cant do anything properly. need to get some sleep yeah? but i got to depend on medication which is sleeping pills. that's bad i know. but cant be help. if not my world keeps spinning around. and i would rather take that sleeping pills than to feel loneliness and emptiness i used to have long ago before i know him. gosh.

i hate this kind of feeling. but how to get ride of it?