Brandon Papa has gone t meet mama alr.
in a far away land somewhere.
its quite saddening that he went off.
and i cant see him for the last time.
not even in the hospital.
im scared t go alone
cause it will reminds me of mama.
even at the wake,
though it will reminds me of ma
but then i still want t pay my last respect t him.
one of the nicest uncle i had,
that dote on his children a lot.
he just got this bad habit of drinking & smoking.
but also one of his trademarks.
i cried on the way t the wake,
& when i reached
i know of a lot of things that i wasnt supposed t do
during those few days of funeral
if not it would scare mum they all away.
maybe that was one of the reason why mama didnt come back.
i didnt feel her presences.
i miss her lot please.
everytime i heard of how brandon papa moved on,
it just reminds me of ma.
the last look on her face.
no last words t me or anyone.
just that look that i will never forget.
100days approaching.
i will be parting with her soon.
cant bear t part.
now that everyone knows that ma passed away,
all thanks t dad.
i've got funny looks for people again.
their smirk on the face are telling me:
"Haha. your mama passed away le. nobody t defend you anymore."
OR
"No mama's kid, so pitiful"
OR
"Served you right t die so early"
all this are what i know some evil might have thought of.
i may be thinking too much
but im sure there are some people whom will think like this.
though its their thinking
but then i cant help but feel upset.
because she is my mama.
one and only biological mother.
there's this saying in chinese:
"世上只有妈妈好！"
i totally agree with that.
life is so fragil.
i would hope t die earlier than anyone
cause i cant bear t see other ppl passed on.
i know its selfish.
but this kind of pain is unbearable.
people around me are smoking.
i totally hate smokers.
but its their choice.
the reason why i hate smokers got t do with mum's death.
smoking harms your health esp your lungs
and even others
especially your loves one around you.
spare a thought for them before you regret.
this is something that i will never ever take up
as i promised with bestie.
i can club, drink, ride on bike etc
but just not smoking.
its my principle.