things aint as easy or as simple as i think.
i am just being a lil too dumb to believe it.
but reality still shows up,
& i cant run away anymore.

many things are uncontrol-able,
i just alway seems to missed it without fail.
maybe im just too late for everything.
or i just dont know how to treasure or seize the opportunties.
they just slip through my hands.

history repeats,
but i must learn the mistake from it,
so that i will never make the same mistake again.
time and time again,
i've fall for the same thing yet
but all over again.

i tried to be optimistic to believe in all those hopes & dreams,
but they are just empty promises.
how could i believe in all these,
when actions doesnt speak louder than words.
it doesnt matter if anyone trust or believe in me,
cause i choose to believe no more.

life ahead for me its vivid,
i just need the light to guide me through.
but i wish to walk it through myself,
instead of with the help of others
cause i dont wish to depend on others.

there's once someone ever told me this:
never depend on others no matter how weak you are.
but on the other hand,
M.Nice told me to let go & stop acting strong.
i wish i wish i wish
however, i dont wanna waste my time on such unrealistic wish or hope.

ma's health isnt getting better,
& i am very worried
but yet i cant do anything for her.
i'm afraid that i might lose her anytime
& i was thankful to see her every morning
or every night when i return home.

though for some reasons,
i used to say that i cant trust in ma.
but then when i really need her,
she just hug me in her arms,
& tell me dont keep crying over things.
that was the warmth i really wanted over the years.

我是个不被祝福而来到这世上的小孩，
我的人生早就被安排好，
来承受这一切的一切，
本是大人们所犯下的错！
而随着我长大，
我这个不被祝福的小孩却顿时变成很有利用价值。
真是可笑又可悲啊！

there are just too much for me to say.
but all thse are just some of my thought,
that i have been trying to sort out slowly by myself.
im just stressed up over things that happen,
& i know i often tend to linked that all up.

one thing im sure of is im obsessed with disco music, t evil
including disco dancing all night. i just hope you will be fine.
cause at least i wont spent those quiet nights alone. i'll be waiting for acceptance to be friends again.
t those noisy crazy nights that i loved these days. time is all i could ever give you now.
especially with the right people. & i believe that is the best medicine for you.
take care(: