this was what i found:
It's men who are the surplus goods
"FOR every 100 women who are not married in Malaysia, there are 130 unmarried men. It is men who are surplus goods on the marriage market in this country, not women."
"The problem in Malaysia is compounded because we are still a traditional patriarchal society where women are expected to marry up. Thus men with money, education and skills will get their choice of women. Men with little money, education and skills are more likely to remain unmarried because society disapproves of women who marry men "beneath" them, and some of our religious leaders believe it is haram for men to be househusbands.
Unless this social value changes given the reality that women are increasingly bettereducated than men, and that there are men who are happy and willing to be househusbands, the opportunities for marriage for men, and women, will decrease further.
We all know what happens in societies where men outnumber women disproportionately; where unmarried men are actually unmarriageable because they are poor, unskilled and uneducated. They form an underclass with no strong social bonds who are more likely than other males to turn to vice and violence.
So if the logic of misyar marriage is to be offered as a solution, then the specific problem that it should address is really the surplus of unmarried and unmarriageable men. The outcome then is to legitimise sex among single men and women who for whatever reason are not able to marry, not because they don't'want to but because they cannot afford it, because the women earn more than men and therefore are not sekufu (of the same class and background), because it is haram for men to be househusbands."
quoted from http://www.sistersinislam.org.my/zai-2june06.htm
another one v interesting one about jobs
Can't we be sensitive sometimes?
Although the idea and practice of men having roles other than traditional ones has greatly improved, some aspects of life remain traditional. For example, the media and society still have certain professions and hobbies that are either male or female. The following is a list of what current society and media believe to be "unacceptable" jobs for men and "ideal" jobs for men: "Unacceptable" Jobs For Men:
- Baker
- Chef
- Florist, Interior Decorator, Fashion Designer
- Nurse, Janitor/Cleaning Services, Butler, Homemaker
- Dancer (esp. Ballet), Gymnast, Figure Skater, Synchronized Swimmer "Ideal" Jobs For Men:
- Police Officer, Fire Fighter
- CEO/President of a company, Lawyer, Military Profession
- Athlete (except for gymnast, prefessional ice skater or synchronized swimmer)
- Construction Profession, Manual Labour Profession, Mechanic/Technician
- Doctor/Medical Profession (except nurse)
- Baker, chef = cooking, which is a traditionally female activity
- Florist, interior decorator, fashion designer = style and design, which is also traditionally feminine
- Nurse, janitor/cleaning services, butler, homemaker (stay-at-home dad) = caring for others, cleaning; again related to women
- Dancer, gymnast, figure skater, synchronized swimmer = known as "women's sports" because they involve next to no agression; agression is seen to be related to masculinity
Now let's have a look at "ideal" jobs for men:
- Police officer, firefighter = these jobs involve fighting against death and danger, which involves some form of agression
- CEO/president of a company, lawyer, military profession = jobs of economic and social power and authority
- Athlete = associated with power and agression
- Construction, manual labour, mechanic/technician professions: these jobs involve working with your hands and tools, which is thought to be a masculine trait
- Doctor/medical profession = seen as a masculine job; probably because there is a sense of working with your hands and tools, as well as involving math and science, which, stereotypically, are the two subjects males are best in This situation seems to incinuate that athletics is strictly a man's playground.
hahas. damn cool.
