dear heavenly father,

i commit myself into your hands. i know you planned all these to make grow up to be more mature and under the meaning of life. all these years you gave me my best friend to accompany me thru all the ups and downs of life. but until today, i never thought that my best friend would lie to me and treat me like this. i believe her and thought that she would be there for me when i need her. i was wrong. i've ask you for someone that loves me wholeheartedly and i thought i found him. in the end i was all wrong. out of a suddden i felt so lost and confused. feeling terrible and miserable too. crying doesnt help but i still ended up crying everytime. i had hopes in my heart but then those hopes were all false and they will never be the situation i ever thought of. i am just a normal girl that just wants a simple realtionship and long lasting friendship with my best friend and a simple family. but everything was too complicated for me to handle. now that i am badly hurt by the dearest people arond me, all i want is just to go and join you lord. i dont want to be all alone by myslef and letting time heal me. today since everything happen,it should be a good time to clear things up and join you in heaven. maybe i might not be good enough to be joining you in heaven but putting me in hell will also be fine. soon enough i'll be able to see you. i just want to be in your arms my lord.i cant take this blow anymore. its just simply beyond my limits with both blow coming towards me. now i finally knows i have been living in lies all along. i was being stupid and foolish so i shall be foolish and stupid for one last time. just one last time and that's it. i have planned everything just waiting for time to come. i guess nobody will cares whether i am dead or alive. its just better this way. so i will leave this ugly and unfair world peacefully. for this i ask thru you my lord

Amen.