after crying the whole night, i am now feeling much better. but still cant help but feel bad and guilty about yesterday.

really upset yesterday. now i kinda hate movies but im going for movies with bestie later. out of a sudden, i just dont want to go out and just hide in my own room living in my own world with all electronic devices all off so that i can just in my own world. however, sometimes i just cant help but keep switching on my phone to check if there's any sms but i'm always disappointed.

i know its kinda contridicting but cant help.

he always knows when i am feeling sad or emo etc, something i just cant hide from him. but i know nothing. although i only can senses that something is wrong but i just dont know what happen. yesterday was just one incident. he claimed that the movie was funny and nice. but throughout the movie he just wasnt himself. when its funny and people are laughing, he's not. i just sense thathe is not enjoying himself at all.

if i know this will happen, i would have insisted not going for movie but then just asked him go home and rest. instead of sucking the whole thing and just made it as though he has to force himself to just accompanying me so that he wont bastard me. it just makes me feel like i am so selfish and doesnt know how my boyfriend feels but yet he has to turn to his buddy cause being with me is just like capturing you in a cage.